Brandon almost died tonight, again, for like the twelfth time. It never gets easier, and it always brings my PTSD back with a vengeance. I react so well like it is my God given gift to be on earth to keep saving Brandon but each time a piece of me dies, because one of these times I know I won't be able too. Although he was choking at dinner with our best friends, even when it was over and even hours later, even now, I feel as though I am suffocating.
Honestly I am even too upset to write this, ........
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