Hope Forr My Husband

This was written four months before we heard the news that I will never forget, ever.

• • March 2, 2012 at 6:00am until May 18, 2012 at 9:00am

• Viral, ,

• I am making this feed because I feel like at this exact moment it is where God is leading me. I want nothing out of this except to be heard. This is my story seen through my eyes and very much felt through my heart. Today started as any other day, today I almost lost my husband. Brandon started getting sick in 2008. It was small things like blood in the urine but were adding up to bigger things like tumors in his mouth. Tumors that would lead to many unsuccessful painful and heart wrenching surgeries. Biopsies, cancer scares, bone graphs and ultimately the removal of his two front teeth. I will never forget that day I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen, and I felt for him...God I felt for him. I now know it was not the worst thing that could happen. It was only the beginning. Then he developed a heart problem. His heart rate has not been under 100 beats a minute for the past 4 years. He starting loosing weight (close to 70 pounds) and developed muscle weakness. I came home from working two jobs one night to a 24 year old husband who could not walk or control his bodily tremors. This lead to two weeks in the hospital, a spinal tap with no anesthesia that was unsuccessful and many many many specialist follow ups as well as physical therapy. All of Brandon's blood work is coming back abnormal and positive for lupus, muscle wasting and adrenal abnormalities. Which leads to more testing. July 2010 as a requirement for testing Brandon goes under the knife for a quadriceps biopsy, a routine procedure. This was on a Thursday. I called Friday because as soon as we got home he started bleeding not profusely but enough to make a stream down his leg. I was assured this is normal. All weekend I struggled with taking him to the hospital for the continued now profuse blood loss or waiting until Monday. Monday came, a now immensely swollen( bleeding through ace bandaged) leg we were back in Lafayette for a follow up. Brandon had developed a hematoma the size of a grapefruit underneath the sutured 6 inch biopsy site. The doctor had to dig this and the the hundreds of little hematoma's out of an exposed wound that was bone deep with no medicine. Apparently during the muscle biopsy an blood vessel/artery was cut and being that Brandon's wound was shut the blood was pooling and creating this blood clots under the skin. On our way home we stop at Walmart to pick up Brandon's prescription, he bleeds out and rushed into surgery to stop the bleeding. This is the second time I almost lost my husband. A hospital stay, a nasty infection, almost loss of a leg, and painful dressing changes 8 months later, it is still healing. Brandon got put on a new heart medication two weeks ago. He has been very sick every night after taking this medication. Last night he was not sick. We woke up and started our day. I noticed Brandon wasn't talkative and mentioned this to him and he had just said he didn't feel well that his stomach hurt. I just left it at that. We decided to watch a movie. During the movie I look over and see Brandon covered in sweat and panic while I try to address the issue. He says he just doesn't feel right or well for that matter and hes having heart problems. From our room, grabbing nothing but shoes to carry, by the time I got him to the car door he was feeling like he was passing out. We live outside of Lafayette. I know many people would ask why I didn't just call 911. He wasn't that sick at first and I knew if he was going to be it would be smarter/faster for me to meet them instead of them having to come this way and head back to the hospital.  I drove 90-95 mph blew red lights and 10 minutes down the road I had to call 911 to a husband vomiting blue, bleeding from his nose not responding and convulsing. I was between a rock and a hard place knowing I needed to stop for a ambulance that was somewhere behind me but knowing the hospital was a few miles in front of me. The first time I pulled over I couldn't wait and didn't see or hear anyone. (The whole time I am on the phone with 911) the second time I didn't realize until after but I pulled in the middle of the road in front of a church, and I heard the sirens from behind...Thank God I heard them, I was screaming at Brandon and he wasn't responding, I was screaming at 911 that someone needed to hurry. When they arrived his blood pressure was 250/87 his pulse was 200+ his oxygen had dropped below 70 and he was continuing to bleed from his nose and lost all control of bodily functions. I will never feel so re leaved as I was when Brandon was loaded into the ambulance. I held it together and I was fine until I got off the phone with Brandon's mother Tammy and then I bawled as hard as I could all the way to the hospital. It has been a long day but I am so happy to say that Brandon is now home and we are both recovering. I write this knowing that this is the first that many of you will hear of any this. I use to care about what people thought of us. About how yes we are married and yes we live with my parents, yes we have medical debit and creditors call my phone all day long. If we wanted a big house, a nice car all these things we could have them, I could have them but if I were to EVER lose Brandon to this condition he has they wouldn't matter. I would have no one to share them with. Brandon and I have struggled with infertility since we have been married and I use to be ashamed I have PCOS. I would hear "It will happen when it happens" or "you need to wait until your financially able" or "with Brandon being sick its something you could pass to your child". I may not have it all together but together will have it all. We are continuing to pursue our dreams of being parents with or with out support. If anything ever happened to Brandon and with him cheating death 3 times it is about time good things come our way and he get to experience something other then suffering for a change. He is alive as long as he has fight left in him and with specialists help we have hopes for a diagnoses, treatment and recovery in 2012! Its 3:15 A.M. and I am so blessed and thankful to say I am now going to go to bed next to my husband another night. Now I know the only thing I would be ashamed of is losing my husband to something that could of been diagnosed sooner.  God Bless You Thank You for the support and please forward to everyone you know, who they know etc. Please let Brandon's story be heard, it could help someone going through the same thing. This is MY HOPE FOR MY HUSBAND. Brandon, I am so thankful for the determination to be here with me. You are my good morning and goodnight. I love you more and more everyday. Love, Your Wife